While getting in the car with Parker and Elise, I wanted to tell the kids to not put their wet shoes on the seats. I started by saying, "Do you know what the first rule of getting in the car is?" Before saying that it was to put their wet shoes on the upholstery, I thought how silly that was of a #1 rule.
Instead, I said that the 2nd rule of getting in the car was not to put wet shoes on the seats.
"What's the first rule, Dad?" they asked.
"The first rule is to not push the self-destruct button." I said. It seemed totally logical to put this rule ahead of the wet shoes rule. As I buckled Henry in the car seat, I talked about what a self-destruct button was and that after pushing it, you have ten seconds before the car blows up.
When I got in the car they asked me where it was.
I showed them a button on the stereo system and I put my finger above it, then told them not-to-ever-push-this-button, tapping it with each word. On the last word I 'accidentally' pushed it and screamed "Oh Crap, I just pushed the self-destruct button'.
I hysterically attempted to open the door. Both Elise and Parker had horror on their faces as they tried to get out as well.
When I told them it was all a joke, they laughed with me.
That was a good one.
The next joke was not as funny, but I got them again.
We stopped at the Chevron station near the Bonneville dam to fill up with gas. As I was finishing, a police siren was wailing. I jumped in the car quickly and said I just stole the gas and they were going to get us. Parker looked at me with surprise. He said something like, "Dad, you not supposed to do that."