Insults

Every now and then you need an insult for someone, if nothing else than just for fun. My favorite ones don't really make sense to use. For instance, my all time favorite is Bastard.

There's one problem with Bastard. It's not really an insult. It means that you were conceived out of wedlock. Of course, if your parents were not married when you were conceived then your parents are probably not too concerned about premarital sex and it has no bearing on how they feel about you or how you feel about yourself. On the other hand, if you're a self-righteous religious person, you would not be judging someone else for an action of their parents and therefore using that insult would be an insult to your core beliefs. Then there's the people who believe that you can be insulted for something that someone else did. Those people are just plain stupid and who cares if they insult you.

The other insult I would like to use really doesn't make sense either. I would love to call someone a son-of-a-bitch. It just sounds cool, kind of flows off the tongue. The first problem with this insult is that it only applies to males. To call someone a daughter-of-a-bitch makes you sound stupid. In addition, you're not really insulting someone directly, but their mother. There's a good chance that their mother is nice. She sacrificed a lot for her child, no matter how worthy of insult they are. Most mothers deserve a break. If their mother is nice, you really are an idiot for calling her a bitch.

So I'm left with Asshole. This is a real insult because it is very descriptive of something not nice, but it reminds me of when little kids are really annoying. They talk about poop and body parts and biological functions. The same goes for shit head. It reminds me of poopoo head.

There's a few more which I don't need to discuss. I really like the idea of using real English words for insults. Too bad blatherskite doesn't carry much of a punch. If I ever used that to insult someone, I'd be the object of scorn or just a blank stare.